i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
