My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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