It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
