Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
