were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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