How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am naked and annoyed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
