allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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