When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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