I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
