Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
