Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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