where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
