Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
