He is an equal opportunity slut.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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