just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
