I just pynch a tree in the face
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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