Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
