i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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