i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
