I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
