Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
