I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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