ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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