Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
