i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize