Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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