I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
