It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
