We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize