i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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