So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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