Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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