It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
