So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
