But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
okay pat passed out under dana's car
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
