Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
