Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize