WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
