I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
