I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
