I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
