I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
