we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish my penis had an off switch
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
