Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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