This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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