do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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