I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
