Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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