i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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