Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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