Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
