I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
