this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
