can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
