I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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