ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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