At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
