I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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